Think about me

I have come to the realization that I do not care enough about me. I mean I always think of others first, putting myself on the back burner. I’m tired of that! I’m tired of people! 

I always say people treat you the way that they treat you, because you let them. Well I have been ignoring myself  for years and now people are ignoring me! I know it sounds weird right? How can I ignore myself right? I mean, I do live in this body, so it must be hard to ignore someone who you see everyday or ignore the fact that you live in this skin, but I do.

I mean look, writing is a big part of who I am. Only 2 people in my entire life have understood that. Everyone else, eh, they don’t care that writing is like food for my soul. I feel like when I write I am free of judgement of everyone. I can say what I want and there is nothing you can do about it. You can get mad and cuss me out, tell me I should not be airing my dirty laundry, or whatever, but I’ve done it I’ve written whatever it is that was on my mind and I feel a lot more free.

I’ve often wondered why people don’t take my writing seriously, then I came up with the conclusion. People don’t take it seriously, because I don’t take it seriously. I must not be communicating to them that writing for me is like breathing. If I don’t do it I will die! I know that sounds exaggerating, but it’s true for me.

I often feel that people do not hear me when I talk. Probably, because I talk to daymn much. I am a great story-teller I like to think. On the other hand some people would beg to differ! Lol. Anyways, I feel like people don’t take me seriously, because they think I am complaining, so automatically  they tune me out, until they realize that I really did have something deep to say and by then, I don’t really feel like repeating myself, because now all of a sudden you want to finally listen to me!! It’s exhausting. #judgement anyone!

So in order to get my point across to the many people I come across, I need them to know how much my life and the things that I do mean to me. 

Let’s take writing. While I have dated a few guys back in my day 🙂 most of them did not realize how much writing meant to me, until I blogged about a situation or them. they didn’t understand that my voice and my words mattered until I put them on front street to the whole world. I want my life to be different. I want the people who I come in contact with to understand that writing is everything to me and that it is important to me, so it should be important to you, because it is important to me. Now I know that is a lot to ask for… scratch that… That is NOT a lot to ask for. I’m asking for the people who are closest to me, to be invested in me, like I am invested in them.

I’m tired of meeting that great guy and everything is perfect, but all we do is talk about their dreams and aspirations. I admit I can give great advice. I don’t judge or anything. I am a logical thinker, so usually I ask basic questions to see if you understand what you are talking about. When I know something means a lot to you, why would I not be invested in how it is going or if you need any help. I mean I am human. I realize that people just need someone to know that they care and that they have listened. All I ask is the same.

I keep getting these guys who don’t give a shyt about my writing, photography, or painting. Now I know what you are saying. That’s a lot of stuff right, but if it’s important to me and you know that I do these things, why would you not ask? Why would you just wait for me to tell you what I have been doing? Well no more! It’s time for a change. If you can’t see all the qualities in me like I see in you, I believe it is time to stand 10ft back. I need to make room for the right people to come along and give me what I need. What I crave for at the end of the day. The comfort of knowing that they care about everything that I touch and everything that I do.

I wish the people in this world were different. Sometimes I wish I were different, but we are all here for a reason. I know why I was meant to be on this earth. I’m just waiting for that right person to come to me and tell me why I was meant to me on this earth with them, but until then, I’ll be weeding out the ducks for the man who with look and me, hear me, see me, love me, and guide me to new heights without a hidden agenda. I will wait for the day when someone asks me “When was the last time you wrote something?” and them genuinely offers some words of wisdom  or advice for me.

I’m always in a situation where I bring something to someone else’s life, but when is it going to be my turn, for someone to bring something into my life?

-Khaniqua

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Daily Bible Verse

Psalms 91:14
14 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

Daily Bible Verse

Psalms 105:4
4 Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.

Thought of the Day

Suffering doesn’t always mean you’ve done something wrong. Sometimes it means you’ve done something right. – Dr. Tony Evans

What does the word tell you about suffering? God is love and sometimes the things that happen to us are just a test. Learn when God is testing you. Believe that he has your best interest at heart. Remember, he will never LEAVE you or FORSAKE you. He loves you and you are his child. Believe and trust that he loves you and will always have your back. Sometimes the test might not be for you. It might be for that other person. Stay focused and true to God. He will always make it ok, even if you can’t see it.- Kyi Davis

Silent Walls

A normal day just like any other

I lay in my bed

Deep undercover

Good morning to you

And the silence appears

As if I didn’t speak

Then here come the tears

My eyes are open

But my brain is mistaken

The love that was here

Is now gone

The silence is deafening

And loneness creeps upon me

This life I live is not for the faint hearted

I get up look in the mirror

And reflect on life

A life without love

Is no life at all

I’ve prayed for him

Even stayed a few times

Thinking this was the plan

But they were really just crimes

I start my day

With a cup of coffee

To ease the pain of all the silence

No laughter or joy

Or that morning first kiss

A life without love

Seems like quite a risk

Afraid to back

The past is not where I want to be

Wanting to move forward

But it’s hard so hard to see

Am I a good person?

Do I have good intentions?

As I lay back down and whisper

“I love you”

I look around

And all I see are silent walls

They listen to my plea and my cries

But they speak not

It’s deafening you hear me

But no one can hear me

I close my eyes and let it all sink in

One day this house will be full of joy

And laughter and love

But until then

I’ll talk to the silent walls

And who knows

Maybe they will talk back

-Kyi

Copywrite October 8, 2016 by: Khaniqua J Davis

Bible Verse

Mark 13:11

But when they arrest you and deliver you up, do not worry beforehand, or premeditate what you will speak. But whatever is given you in that hour, speak that; for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit.

The Library Kid

As I got home last night, I noticed something strange and something out of the ordinary. There was a young man sitting outside on the side walk outside of the library. The library was closed, because all the lights were off inside and it was around 8-8:30pm. What was odd about the young man’s predicament was, the fact that he was sitting on the curb reading. I mean who really does that? On the outside of the library there were lights. I started to wonder “Why was this young man sitting outside the library reading?”

Many thoughts ran into my head. Had he come home from wherever he was and his house had no lights, so he knew the library would be open and so he goes in there to read and then when they close, he just sits outside and continues reading because that is where the light is? Or Is his home life so distracting that this is the only place he thinks he can get some peace and quiet? Either was I was worrying about his situation.

I had just come from life group and I didn’t even stop to pray for the young man. Whatever his situation might be I’m pretty sure he was sitting out there for a reason and a little prayer never hurts.

I also thought to myself, that this young man has a lot of courage. I mean to just sit and be comfortable on the sidewalk and read a book, says a lot about the young man. He does not care if anyone sees him. He is so focused on the task at hand that the world around him is his oyster. He seemed to be determined to get his work done or finish reading whatever it is, that he was so invested in, even if it meant sitting on the sidewalk alone by himself reading.

We can all learn some good things from this young man. What would you think if you say a young man doing this? How will it make you feel? What would you learn?